FEBRUARY NANAMAN. Malapit na naman ang… hay. CHINESE NEW YEAR. Hindi Valentines. Whatever the cause for February celebrations, I always found it awkward. As an afterthought, one of my best college buddies Ralph Pobre, was born on February 29. Anyway. I was saying, February celebrations are awkward. For me, these are the Chinese New Year, and Valentines Day.
First is the Chinese New Year. My family is not Chinese, my mother is a devout Catholic, and we have an assortment of Buddha diplayed side by side with images of the Virgin Mary and the Baby Jesus. *FACEPALM.
If you’re not familiar with the people living in our house, yo0u will mistake the owners for confused Chinese. In our house, as with other Catholic houses, we have an altar where various images of saints, Jesus, and Mary are displayed. In this altar, there are also bottles of Holy water, which are separately labeled: Water from Manaoag, Water from Lourdes France, and basic Holy Water. Beside these holy waters is a green stone frog with a fake coin in its mouth. It’s supposed to attract something.
In different areas of the house you will see in place of a crucifix, are rotten fruits arranged in a circular way and fixed on a wire. Underneath these horrible Chinese fruit wreaths are those red envelopes called Ampao, where people put giveaway money every Christmas.
There was a time when my mother forced a hideous picture of a blue Rhinoceros in the boy’s bathroom “to ward off evil”. She took a picture of a Rhino off the Internet, pasted on in Paint Application, and spray-painted it blue. Imagine the outcome! It looked like a kid’s artwork.
That’s not all. She also forced a very tall rack in each of our rooms for Feng Shui purposes. It was so wrong. This year, I’m anticipating a new wave of silly furniture rearrangements, decorations, and displays that always come with the Chinese New Year. Minsan, gusto ko na nga tanungin eh, Katoliko ka ba o Instik?!
****
Next Awkward, VALENTINES. Goes for the obvious: SINGLE ako. Haha. I was with my best buddy and his girl a while ago, when she asked who I was dating on Valentine’s Day. Mag double date daw kami. Haha. Silent. Date kayo, singit ako.
But seriously, I have no problem being single. Maybe they have a problem with me being single. Eh di ligawan niyo ko. Haha. Nuff said. Mag-inuman nalang tayo.